The Joy of Listing

I just love making lists and ranking stuff.

  • Archive of all the numbered Mix CDs/playlists I ever made (Part 1 of many)

    

I have compiled Mix CDs for most of my life at this point and they mean a lot to me. As a teen I wasn’t (and am often still not) very good at sharing my feelings and making mix CDs was a way for me to connect to my mom and show her how I felt and what was important to me.
    
I am scared that one day the CDs will get scratched or lost and that I will somehow lose the record of these mixes and forget when and why I made them.

    So I wanna list all of the important details about all of them here so that the information is safe forever.

    Annas Mix 1:

    (27 min, upbeat happy mood)


    I reworked this one multiple times. The first version had almost none of the same songs. I started making my numbered mixes when I was about 12, so the reworked version is probably from when I was 13-14. It’s mostly older music I found through movies and TV shows. My mom really enjoyed this one because it’s not as depressing as most of my other mixes and she loves Janis Joplin.



    “It’s Alright, Baby” by Komeda
    “Soul Kitchen” by The Doors
    
“I’m A Believer” by the Monkees

    “The Joker” by Steve Miller Band
    “It’s Alright” by The Impressions
    
“Surfin’ U.S.A” by The Beach Boys
    “Me and Bobby McGee” Janis Joplin
    “Stranger in a Strange World” by Leon Russel


    

Annas Mix 2:
    
(36 min, as depressing as it gets)


    Also a reworked one from when I was about 14. I made this for really bad days.
    
I wouldn’t leave my house/room at the time for any reason (also refusing to go to school) and would spend most of every day by myself. My mom would often drive me around for 30-40 min and we would listen to these mixes, so I at least would get out of the house for a little while that way.

    

“Needle in the Hay” by Elliott Smith

    “No Name #1” by Elliott Smith

    “Between the Bars” by Elliott Smith

    “2:45 a.m.” by Elliott Smith

    “Like a Monkey in a Zoo” by Daniel Johnston
    
“I’ve been alone too long” by Soko
    
“A Minor Incident” by Badly Drawn Boy

    “Trouble”(Cat Stevens Cover) by Elliott Smith

    “Voice from the Mountain” by Nick Drake
    
“Eleventeen” by Kimya Dawson

    Annas Mix 3:

    (32 min, very upbeat, only 80s bangers)

    
I consumed a lot of media as a child/teen that was made by women who were teens in the 80s and who would frequently mention 80s music and films that were important to them as teens. Because I have a need to get pop culture references I started watching and listening to a lot of stuff from the 80s and developed an obsession with collecting and watching 80s teen movies. A lot of the music from this mix is from those movies.



    “Faith” by George Michael

    “Shadow Dancing” by Andy Gibb
    
“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield

    “Pretty in Pink” by Psychedelic Furs

    “We are not alone” by Karla Devito
    “Heart of Glass” by Blondie

    “Shy Boy” by Bananarama

    “Kiss” by Prince


    

Annas Mix 4:
    
(19 min, pretty, romantic, a bit melancholic)

    
This is the first mix I am still proud of and like a lot. It used to be longer but I cut a few songs at some point that were not perfect enough for me when I was feeling perfectionist at some point.
    As with the other early mixes almost all the songs are from movies and shows I love. Watching a lot of tv as a kid and teen was my main gateway to developing my own music taste and an interest for researching music history.



    “I don’t mind” by Slumber Party
    
“Only Yesterday” by Taken by Trees
    
“These Days” by Nico
    
“Oh Yoko!” by John Lennon
    
“Ooh La La” by The Faces

    “I Will” by The Beatles




    Annas Mix 5:
    

(27 min, sad, but somewhat hopeful, mostly 70s)


    This is one of my favorite mixes from back then. Also from when I was 13-14.

    I had a 60s/70s wannabe hippie phase and would always wear a floor-length patchwork skirt and John Lennon sun glasses. 
I had just watched Harold and Maude and The Graduate for the first time and through that learned of Cat Stevens and Simon and Garfunkel. Also my estranged father had sent me a couple of CDs as a gift to bond with me, one of them the White Album, which was my introduction to the Beatles.
 “Trouble” was my favorite song for a long time and “Cry Baby Cry” is still my favorite Beatles song.



    “Been Smoking too long” by Nick Drake

    “Way Over Yonder” by Carol King

    “Trouble” by Cat Stevens

    “If you want to Sing Out” by Cat Stevens
    
“Blackbird” by the Beatles

    “Where Do the Children Play” by Cat Stevens
    
“April Come She Will” by Simon & Garfunkel

    “Don’t be Shy” by Cat Stevens

    Fediverse Reactions

  • My favorite movies about grief/losing someone

    Last year there was a very sudden and tragic death in my family that changed the lives of me and my loved ones completely.
    That’s also the reason why I haven’t really posted anything on here in a long time because I was too occupied with other things to have energy to put into my hobbies.
    Because I am me, one of the first things I did to cope with the situation was to make this list.

    1. Aftersun (2022)
      There is no explicit death in this movie, but the movie is a semi-autobiographical retelling about a vacation the filmmaker had with her father, before he later killed himself. You’re not being told what is really happening, but the depression, helplessness and anticipatory grief is always in the air. Even without knowing you can sense that something is wrong, something that you should be concerned about.
    2. Synecdoche, New York (2008)
      The movie is about many things and kind of all over the place but in my opinion the most central themes are (fear of) death and grieving what is lost.
      There is a deeply touching monologue at a funeral in it that is one of my favorite scenes ever.
    3. A Single Man (2009)
      Visually incredibly stunning film. I first went into it thinking it was just a pretty period film set in the 60s and not knowing how devastatingly sad it is. So be warned! You will cry a lot.
      It’s about a man who has lost all hope after losing his life partner and wandering around on a single day trying to cope with his grief. TW: suicide!
    4. The Virgin Suicides (1999)
      One of my favorite movies. It captures the sadness and weight of being a young girl feeling lost in this world.
      I watched it a lot when I was a teen and felt very seen by it.
      As you can tell by the title it deals a lot with suicide and how the people being left after one happens deal with the grief.
      Warning: there are a few very graphic scenes in it.
    5. The Holdovers (2023)
      The movie is about 3 characters that I all relate to A LOT for various reasons. One of them is a grieving mother who has just lost her young son in war. The role is played by Da’Vine Joy Randolph whose acting in this is probably the best or at least my favorite I have seen related to grief.
    6. All of Us Strangers (2023)
      The movie is about a very sad man played by my fav Andrew Scott who has lost both his parents when he was younger. He discovers that he can somehow magically travel back to his childhood home and spend time with his parents (now as an adult) and talk with them about all the trauma he had to endure as a child. It is one of the saddest movies I have ever seen and it has the most devastating ending I’ve probably ever seen. I was sobbing so hard. Be warned!
    7. C’mon c’mon (2021)
      C’mon c’mon was made by Mike Mills during the time he split from his wife, mother of their child and fellow director Miranda July and you can really tell that he’s working through his own feelings and grief of the loss of his marriage via the movie.
      It’s a about a man who has to take care of his little nephew while his sister goes away to take care of her mentally ill husband. There are really great scenes in it about feeling abandoned, confused, overwhelmed and struggling to feel and vocalize your own feelings. Really, really great film.
    8. Three Colours: Blue (1993)
      The movie deals with a woman who has lost both her husband and her young daughter in an accident and who is going through different stages of grief and trying to find her way back into life after this great tragedy. It’s really profound and sad and beautiful.
    9. The Descendants (2011)
      This one’s about a man who is in the midst of making the decision to sell a piece of land in Hawaii he has inherited when his wife has an accident and goes into a coma she will probably never wake up from. He has to deal with their 2 daughters who are both very distraught and with his own complex feelings towards his wife, who was having an affair before the accident happened. I didn’t think I would like the film very much before I first watched it but ended up being really touched and impressed by it.
    10. His Three Daughters (2023)
      The movie is mostly set in the apartment of a man who has cancer and is going to die soon. His 3 daughters share the responsibility of caring for him at the end of his life and have to deal with the anticipatory grief and their difficult relationship dynamics with each other as sisters at the same time. Each sister deals with it differently. During almost all of the movie you never see the father, even though he is the central figure. You only feel his presence and hear his daughters talk about him, which I find really interesting.

    Honorable Mentions:

    Harold and Maude (1971)
    Magnolia (1999)
    Garden State (2004)
    Midsommar (2019)
    My Old Ass
 (2024)
    Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
    Hereditary (2018)
    Antichrist (2009)

    PS: I intentionally left out Manchester by the Sea because I really dislike that movie.

    Fediverse Reactions

  • Top 10 movies you can and should put in front of me whenever I’m very sad or upset to instantly improve my mood (a.k.a. my comfort movies)

    I intentionally left out a lot of my favorite movies because I either a) watched them to death, to the point where I don’t feel like watching them as much any more or b) because they make me too sad and are therefore not that helpful with getting out of a bad mood or c) in the case of eternal sunshine because they’re so sacred to me that I only watch them on very special occasions.

    1. Mean Girls (2004)
      A cult classic for good reason. Probably the most quotable movie of all time. I first watched it when I was a kid when it first came out and have probably watched it 20 or so times since, enough times to know most of the lines by heart.
      Pure comfort! Thank you, Tina Fey!
    2. High Fidelity (2000)
      The first movie my family owned on DVD and a very formative movie (and book) for me. This and Gilmore Girls are probably the main reasons I have encyclopedic pop culture/media knowledge autism and not an obsession with trains or some shit. I know every sentence and feel a need to quote along while watching the movie, which makes it pretty obnoxious to watch it with me. Sorry not sorry.
    3. Rushmore (1998)
      Formerly one of my top 3 or so movies when I was a teen. I get why people dislike the protagonist, Max (and also Rob from High Fidelity btw) and I would too probably if I hadn’t first seen it as a teen, deeply related to it then and instantly fell in love with Max’ eccentric over the top genius douche bag persona.
      The “O R they?” line will forever be one of my favorite lines of any movie even though no one I know but me finds it very funny.
    4. Silence of the Lambs (1991)
      I love Jodie Foster and Clarice Starling. Probably the best thriller of all time in my opinion. Every shot is perfect, every line is memorable and quotable. I get so much joy out of watching this, it would probably seem kind of creepy to people who don’t know me.
    5. Pride and Prejudice (2005)
      I also watched this a lot as a kid and always felt a bit ashamed of how much I loved it and how much I swooned for Darcy’s proclamations of love and the romance of it all.
      I have reclaimed all that in recent years and am proud to say that I stand by being a silly little romantic who giggles and grins every time Darcy flexes his hand because it touched Elizabeth for a second. My feelings about this movie are still what they were last April. My affections and wishes are unchanged.
    6. Sense and Sensibility (1995)
      If I could leave this world and enter the Jane Austen universe permanently (as a protagonist who will always end up happy and in love of course) I definitely would do so.
    7. Sunset Boulevard (1950)
      One of the greatest movies of all time imo. I love the drama and extraness of Norma Desmond. And how the story manages to be both funny and entertaining and deeply tragic at the same time. I could probably watch this once a week because of how perfect it is.
    8. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
      Peek improvisational comedy. I love most of the early Christopher Guest movies but this is by far my favorite.
      I love theatre kids and I especially love Corky St. Claire.
      Also I desperately want that Dinner with Andre action figure set.
    9. Good Will Hunting (1997)
      One of my favorite movies of all time. I love Robin Williams, especially in sad/”serious” movies and the authenticity he brought to his character and the whole movie via his improvisations. I love the Elliott Smith songs featured in it.
      I love the “Do you know how easy this is for me?” monologue (very autistic coded). I love the “You’re not perfect.” monologue. So many deeply touching and true scenes in this one. Very relatable and comforting to me.
    10. Almost Famous (2000)
      This is such a love letter to music and basically made for music nerds to enjoy.
      It sucks you in and won’t let you go until the end.
      Also great depiction of the different kinds of assholes men can be. Both the blatant philandering, selfish ones and the “nice guy” incel-ish types.
      Lots of great scenes and quotes.
      There’s something very well rounded about this movie and it feels very satisfying to me because of that.


    Honorable Mentions:

    My Best Friends Wedding (1997)
    Sabrina (1954)
    The Apartment (1960)
    Best in Show (2000)
    American Beauty (1999)
    Any John Mulaney Special

    Fediverse Reactions

  • Ranking of all the concerts I’ve seen (or not seen) at Primavera Sound 2026

    1. Grace Ives – (best concert I’ve seen the whole festival. She really felt the music in a way that was contagious. It was a perfect mix between danceable bangers and more quiet sad songs to cry to, which for me is the recipe for a perfect concert.)
    2. Rilo Kiley – (very emotional, Jenny Lewis has amazing stage presence and makes you fall in love with her within 1-2 songs, but one of the guitarists, who I googled and who turned out to be some producer who’s apparently Phoebe Bridger’s BFF, was giving off weird vibes and kept making eye contact and winking and grinning at young girls in the audience. Gave me the ick and ruined the otherwise wholesome concert for me a bit)
    3. Viagra Boys – (probably my favorite act of the whole line up, except for Mac DeMarco, but the set list could have been better and the concert was not long enough)
    4. The Cure – (amazing set. It’s fascinating to me that Robert Smith still sounds as good live as he did on their original recordings. Usually older lead singers sound kind of off and way worse when they play live in my experience.
      But I was already really tired and it was crowded and the set was over 2h so I was sitting for most of it and didn’t feel the music as much as I would have if I had a better view)
    5. Little Simz – (masterful performance. I’ve seen her live once 8 years ago and she’s gotten so much more powerful since then. I just would have wished for more chill introvert songs instead of party vibes. But still really really good)
    6. Pink Pantheress – (honestly a 10/10 concert, but they chose the wrong stage so it was very overcrowded and I’ve only recently got into her music so it doesn’t rank as high for me as bands that I’ve listened to for years)
    7. Geese – (good concert, but again the stage was too small and it was overcrowded af. Also it was raining a lot. Cameron Winters in a wet undershirt was a nice view at least.)
    8. 2nd half of The New Eves – (I’m so sad that I missed the first half. I missed “cow song” which is by far my favorite of theirs. If I had seen the whole show it would probably rank higher. Also it rained and the audio was buggy.)
    9. Olivia Rodrigo – (great performance but I don’t know a lot of her songs and was really tired. Also I left before the end to avoid the crowds, so I missed the Robert Smith appearance which annoys me)
    10. Addison Rae – (she gives off such strong Britney vibes. It’s kind of spooky. She’s a great performer but I don’t really like her voice that much and I felt out of touch because all the girlies were sooo into every song and I only liked 3-4)
    11. 1st half of Ashnikko – (I didn’t know or like most of her new songs and again felt out of touch with the enthusiasm of the crowd, but the one song I knew well and liked was great. Also the stage set up and bits were funny and creative.)
    12. Sudan Archives – (I went in blind and a lot of the music wasn’t my vibe but some of the songs I quite liked and she came off as very sweet from how she interacted with the crowd. Very wholesome mood in the crowd, especially at the end.)
    13. Jimena Amarillo – (Also went in blind. I didn’t really like the music and she both interacted with the audience and sang only in Spanish so I didn’t really know what was going on. But the visuals were cool and the background dancers were really good)
    14. Alex G – (first cancelled show. I was content with probably not going before it was cancelled. So I’m not that sad about not being able to see him. I mostly wanted to go because it said he was influenced by Elliott Smith in the description tbh.)
    15. Massive Attack – (again. I already decided to miss most of the show because it was at the same time as Mac. But I would have loved to see the end at least and I don’t think I will get to see them again soon or ever probably)
    16. Doja Cat – (not a huge fan but I spent hours listening to her music to get into it ahead of the concert and I had planned to see the whole show at the end of my night. It would’ve been fun I think.)
    17. Mac DeMarco – (words cannot describe my disappointment. Would have been my favorite concert of the week probably.)
    Fediverse Reactions

  • Some huge icks of mine

    In no particular order except for No. 1.

    This is potentially part one of many because I have seemingly endless icks and find it very entertaining to list them all.

    1. People misspelling Elliott Smith as Elliot Smith
    • People singing along to songs they don’t know pretending that they know the lyrics when they obviously don’t
    • People not asking “and how are you?” After you’ve just asked them and they told you extensively.
    • People not respecting the boundaries of cats and continuing to pet them even though they obviously don’t want it
    • When you ask a man for a lighter and they hold it so close to them that you have to almost touch them to light your cigarette
    • People who smoke in a way where the filter gets wet from their spit
    • People not saying “Gesundheit” or “Bless you” when you sneeze
    • People calling people that are just assholes “narcissists” or “borderline”.
    • Men calling women “females”
    • People not liking a movie I love enough
    • Musicians desperately wanting the audience during a concert to sing along to their songs and then being visible annoyed because people don’t know all the lyrics
    • Screencaps of a movie with quotes from it that are from a different part of the movie than the screencap
    • People that are not native spanish speakers saying “Barcelona” in the correct way

  • Ranking of all the (former and current) H3 crew members based on how much I like them

    I would’ve ranked old jolly Ethan way higher back in the day. But being hated by a majority of the internet, betrayed by his former friends and feeling threatened basically all of the time has turned him into kind of a douche tbh. But I guess it’s kind of understandable. It’s still really disappointing and sad though.
    Hila is ranked so low because of how she seems to blindly enable Ethan in his douchebagery these days, which infuriates me a lot.
    AB because of how much of a simp he used to be for Ethan and idubbbz (of all people) and because of how insincere he seems now.
    Morgan because I don’t feel like I know her yet at all.
    Zach because he’s so macho and comes across as misogynistic sometimes.
    Sam because I believe (very parasocially and without a lot of evidence, I know) that she broke Ian’s heart and because she moved on reeeaally quickly after the break-up and Ian seems like such a sweet guy.
    Also Dan is on top because a) the podcast could not exist without him and b) he’s one of the most level headed and likeable people I “know” on the internet. Dan’s the best. His wife also seems so cool and likeable. They seem like such a sweet and cool couple. <3

    1. Dan
    2. Cam
    3. Ian
    4. Nate
    5. Olivia
    6. Tamara
    7. Lena
    8. Ethan
    9. Hila
    10. Sam
    11. Zach
    12. AB
    13. Morgan

  • My Top 10 Favorite Teen Shows

    I intentionally left out Gilmore Girls and Twin Peaks, because I see them more as shows that happen to have some main characters that are teens than “teen shows”.

    1. Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000)
    2. Daria (1997-2002)
    3. PEN15 (2019-2021)
    4. My so-called Life (1994-1995)
    5. Skins – Generation 1 and 2 (2007-2010)
    6. Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996-2006)
    7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)
    8. Euphoria (2019-)
    9. The End of the F***ing World (2017)
    10. Veronica Mars (2004-2007)

    Honorable Mentions: My Mad Fat Diary (2013-2015), Sugar Rush (2005-2006), The O.C. (2003-2007), Dawson’s Creek (1998-2003), Gossip Girl (2007-2012), Awkward. (2011-2016), Clarissa Explains It All (1991-1994), Lizzie McGuire (2001-2004),

    Fediverse Reactions

  • My Top 10 Favorite Witch Movies

    1. Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)
    2. The Sword in the Stone (1963)
    3. Wicked (2024)
    4. Practical Magic (1998)
    5. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988)
    6. The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
    7. Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)
    8. The Love Witch (2016)
    9. Hocus Pocus (1993)
    10. The Craft (1996)

    Honorable Mentions: Four Rooms (1995), The Wizard of oz (1939), Sleepy Hollow (1999), Bibi Blocksberg (2002)

  • Celebrity men where the revelation that they are predators really disappointed me

    1. Andrew Callaghan (Host of Channel 5/All Gas No Brakes)

      Both the revelations about him and the ones about Neil Gaiman really fucked with my head when their respective SA allegations came out. First because I was a huge fan and had a parasocial admiration for both but mainly because they had always framed themselves as “the good guys”. Neil Gaiman being a vocal “feminist” and Andrew a leftist “woke” guy. I really thought they were “one of the few good ones”. 🥲
    2. Neil Gaiman

      I gave away my Sandman Comics Collection recently and I also can’t listen to Amanda Palmer or Dresden Dolls anymore knowing how complicit she was in his abusive behavior, which is really really sad because her music has meant a lot to me since I was a teenager. I am just gonna pretend Coraline isn’t based on a book of his, because I love that movie so much
    3. Woody Allen

      I know it was always known in my lifetime that he is disgusting. But my mom was a huge fan so I grew up on his movies not knowing about the extend of his abuse. I only knew that he “married the daughter of his ex” which is not even close to the full story. Watching “Allen v. Farrow” made me so sick I threw all of his movies I had on DVD in the trash and never (re)watched another movie of his.
    4. Kevin Spacey

      He used to be one of my favorite actors and my sister and I both really admired him and had this parasocial idea in our heads of how great of a guy he was. Thankfully he plays a creep/asshole/terrible person in all of my favorite movies he’s in so it’s not hard to rewatch them for me.
    5. Johnny Depp
    6. Ninja (of Die Antwoord)
    7. Snoop Dogg
    8. Joe Gatto (of Impractical Jokers)
    9. Louis CK
    10. Cee Lo Green

    Dishonorable Mentions: Dustin Hoffman, Joss Whedon, Anthony Kiedis (RHCP), James Franco, Jonah Hill, Ben Affleck, Kanye West, Justin Roiland


    A lot of celebrities are “only” in the dishonorable mentions because my expectations of them as people were very low to begin with, despite me really liking their art
    (*cough* Kanye *cough*).

  • Primavera 2026 Line-Up Tierlist

    I already have an early bird ticket because it’s literally the best festival and I’ve never regretted going.
    This is the acts I plan on seeing (if the time table allows it) put in tiers based on how excited I am to see them live.

    TIERSACTS
    happy tears, dream fulfilled <3Viagra Boys
    Rilo Kiley
    The Cure
    Mac De Marco
    have seen them already, but happy to see them againGorillaz
    Little Simz
    Wet Leg
    Don’t know every song but very excited to see live anywayMy Bloody Valentine
    Einstürzende Neubauten
    Addison Rae
    Massive Attack
    Ashnikko
    Slowdive
    Know very little of them but intriguedLola Young
    Doja Cat
    Pink Pantheress
    Ethel Cain