1. Andrew Callaghan (Host of Channel 5/All Gas No Brakes)
   
   Both the revelations about him and the ones about Neil Gaiman really fucked with my head when their respective SA allegations came out. First because I was a huge fan and had a parasocial admiration for both but mainly because they had always framed themselves as “the good guys”. Neil Gaiman being a vocal “feminist” and Andrew a leftist “woke” guy. I really thought they were “one of the few good ones”. 🥲
   
2. Neil Gaiman
   
   I gave away my Sandman Comics Collection recently and I also can’t listen to Amanda Palmer or Dresden Dolls anymore knowing how complicit she was in his abusive behavior, which is really really sad because her music has meant a lot to me since I was a teenager. I am just gonna pretend Coraline isn’t based on a book of his, because I love that movie so much
   
3. Woody Allen
   
   I know it was always known in my lifetime that he is disgusting. But my mom was a huge fan so I grew up on his movies not knowing about the extend of his abuse. I only knew that he “married the daughter of his ex” which is not even close to the full story. Watching “Allen v. Farrow” made me so sick I threw all of his movies I had on DVD in the trash and never (re)watched another movie of his.
   
4. Kevin Spacey
   
   He used to be one of my favorite actors and my sister and I both really admired him and had this parasocial idea in our heads of how great of a guy he was. Thankfully he plays a creep/asshole/terrible person in all of my favorite movies he’s in so it’s not hard to rewatch them for me.
   
5. Johnny Depp
   
6. Ninja (of Die Antwoord)
   
7. Snoop Dogg
   
8. Joe Gatto (of Impractical Jokers)
   
9. Louis CK
   
10. Cee Lo Green
    

Dishonorable Mentions: Dustin Hoffman, Joss Whedon, Anthony Kiedis (RHCP), James Franco, Jonah Hill, Ben Affleck, Kanye West, Justin Roiland


A lot of celebrities are “only” in the dishonorable mentions because my expectations of them as people were very low to begin with, despite me really liking their art
(*cough* Kanye *cough*).

1. Nathan Fielder
2. David Byrne
3. Hbomberguy
4. Bill Hader
5. Charlie Kaufman
6. David Tennant
7. Jon Brion
8. Andy Samberg
9. Michael Cera
10. Keanu Reeves

Honorable Mentions: Tim Robinson, Elijah Wood, Kyle McLachlan, Pedro Pascal, Noel Fielding, Richard Ayoade, Bret McKenzie, Jemaine Clement, Beck, Kendrick Lamar, Robert Pattinson, Steve Carrell, Larry David, Charlie Day, Mike Mills, Stanley Tucci, Adam Scott, Nick Offerman, Todd in the Shadows

1. Fiona Apple + Paul Thomas Anderson
2. Sofia coppola + Spike Jonze
3. Lena Dunham + Jack Antonoff (+ Margaret Qualley)
4. Miranda July + Mike Mills
5. Anna Marie Tendler + John Mulaney (+ Olivia Munn)
6. Selena Gomez + Justin Bieber (+ Hailey Bieber)
7. Elliot Page + Celebrity Mystery Woman from his memoir
8. Kyle Richards + Mauricio Umansky
9. Lisa Rinna + Harry Hamlin
10. Grimes + Elon Musk

Honorable Mentions:

Florence Pugh + Zach Braff
Phoebe Bridgers + Paul Mescal
Ariana Grande + Ethan Slater
Greta Gerwig + Noah Baumbach
Ali Wong + Bill Hader
Aubrey Plaza + Michael Cera

If you are interested in learning the lore about some of these hmu. I would looove to talk about it.

1. Hot Priest from Fleabag (Andrew Scott in other roles would still be on the list but ranked lower)
2. Nathan Fielder
3. Natasha Lyonne
4. Michael Cera
5. Hbomberguy
6. Todd in the Shadows
7. Gillian Anderson
8. Kristen Stewart
9. Paul Dano
10. Alex Turner

They are not ranked on “hotness” (I don’t think you can really rank that or at least I can’t) but on the level of intensity of my crush.